The United States Cheated the United Kingdom (again)

Following the state visit of their Obamishnesses to the United Kingdom, it emerged that the United States after all their protests of eternal friendship cheated again and in a backhanded vicious attack condemned the United Kingdom to face the final punishment.

Cheryl Cole

Their Obamishnesses were in London again (one wonders if they are ever anywhere else) clocking up congestion charges and generally making life difficult for real people. During their visit at Buckingham Palace and on several other occasions, they protested the eternal friendship The US holds for the United Kingdom. Why then was the United Kingdom punished in an unprecedented way immediately after they left?

The United Kingdom was friendly enough to give the President back unharmed to the United States. In return, though, the retaliated by sending us back Cheryl Cole. Is there any country in the world that deserves such a punishment? They could have sent her to Guantanamo instead, couldn’t they?

For months, Britain has been one continuous street party and the media were aglow with happiness; two of the most untalented and uninspiring self-proclaimed celebrities had left for the US and we could finally hope for better times. While Simon Cowell obviously bribed enough people not to be kicked out immediately again, Cheryl Cole failed in taking the US as she fails in everything she does.

It is absolutely inconceivable how this could have happened. Was her Shakespearean English too complicated for American audiences? Or did her Einsteinean intellect put them off? Could her Seinfeldean wit have been too much to bear?

Everything else must just have captivated her audience, as we all know just too well. Her natural charms are many; her nylon hair cascades in natural curls so pleasing over her bony shoulders; her smile is so beguiling when she shows off her expensive dentures; and her glued-on nails and lashes just enhance her natural beauty. Her youthful looks (on a par with the Duchess of Cornwall if less vivid) couldn’t fail to make an impression, a rather deep one if you ask her wrinkles vying with the Grand Canyon for depths. And last, but by no means least, her beautiful singing voice, missing every tone even in monotone, sends crowds crazy (about like swarming bees).

So why did the US send her back? Was it in retaliation for sending back Madonna to the US? While that would be understandable, it still couldn’t be compared in negative impact on the national psyche. However you look at it, it can’t be construed as anything but a diplomatic affront. This struggling country had just started to enjoy the beauty of the vacancies left behind by those two lumps of show business. Recession is a joy compared to the mere thought of having to put up with a non-English speaker back on the X-Factor.

Reports that the government is trying to block her passport to keep the country from falling into universal despair have not been either denied or acknowledged so far. But desperate times demand desperate measures, let’s hope she can somehow be nailed down wherever she is (despite the fact that this is in breach of human rights of the people who have to suffer her presence).

Further reading
Louis Thomlinson: The Minder of One Direction
JLS: Selling Off Aston
Most Wanted: The Wanted

Oscar Parties: Who Is Max Loong?

Oscar presenter James Franco will host his after Oscar party at the Supperclub in the converted Vogue Theatre just 100 yards from the Kodak Theatre. The owners of the Supperclub on the Hollywood Walk of Fame are Jerry Garcia, Abdi Manavi, and Max Loong.

Max Loong, presenter

Oscar Parties usually are held at the most prestigious clubs in Los Angeles. Oscar presenter James Franco has chosen the new Supperclub as the venue for his after Oscars party. The Supperclub opened only in November 2010 but is already on the way to becoming one of the top venues to go to. This may have to do with its concept of entertainment, or it may be down to its location just 100 yards from the Kodak Theatre.

Owners Jerry Garcia, Abdi Manavi, and Max Loong certainly did their homework to make a success of their venture. While Jerry Garcia and Abdi Manavi are of local vintage, the question is: Who is Max Loong?

Max Loong’s father is Malaysian of Chinese descent, his mother is Swiss. The family moved to Switzerland in 1983 where Max did the usual school run. In 2000 aged 20, he landed his first TV job with Swiss private TV station VIVA Swizz. He soon became the face of the station and over three years interviewed over 300 show business A-listers.

In 2004, Max Loong joined the Lee Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute in Los Angeles as an alumnus. It was during his time there that he met Jerry Garcia and Abdi Manavi. He also had several appearances in independent films while studying.

In 2006, he joined MTV Southeast Asia in Singapore. Amongst other shows, he hosted the award winning MTV Mobbed. Max Loong’s personal website is a typical Swiss understatement. While he names MTV Mobbed as one of the shows he hosted, he forgot to mention that he regularly reached 200 million viewers. I don’t know how many viewers Oprah reaches, but Simon Cowell battles to get 10 million interested. In 2007, Max Loong was for the first time listed amongst the 100 most influential Swiss personalities and received the Elle ‘Breakout Star of the Year’ award.

But while working for MTV, he didn’t let his acting drop out of sight. He played in Swiss and French films and series; with Swiss Television he made a drama series called Adventure Max; and he starred in Singapore’s Emmy nominated comedy series First Class. He has regular engagements in Switzerland and Singapore as well as other Asian countries; and now he has business in Los Angles as well.

Max Loong has family in Switzerland and Malaysia and a girl friend in Singapore, too. This alone would make him clock up air miles like few others, but with his professional engagements now covering the globe, he’ll be able to make use of frequent flyer discounts no end.

Roping Max into the Supperclub was a smart move by Jerry Garcia and Abdi Manavi. From his TV shows, Max knows all the right people in Los Angeles and abroad without seeming to suck up to them by being a local guy; and as a host he should do well, too. When living in Zurich, he usually managed to become the soul of any party he attended without dominating its centre. That would, in my opinion, be the perfect way to host any party. And despite all this, he is refreshingly absent from the gossip pages that sell scandals for news.

And before you run off to book your table at the Supperclub, check the prices!

Further reading
Strictly Gay Dancing
Boxer on Ice
Splash: Tom Daley on ITV 1