ITV Failed in Catching Tom Daley

ITV, usually in the lead when catching Tom Daley for a show, failed in getting him onto I'm a Celebrity 2013. Rumours have it that Tom Daley has turned down a £250,000 offer to appear in the most brainless show ITV has the honour of putting on every year. As it is also a show for has-been D-listers, I don't think Tom Daley should really be on it.

Tom Daley

While it had been repeatedly reported that the Olympic diving star said he would be up for a stint in the jungle, the offer was either not good enough, or the timing was just off as he has enough other commitments not least with ITV. And Tom Daley has been criticized in the past for not concentrating enough on his diving career.

And he already has two TV commitments to juggle around his diving. There is the second series of celebrity diving show Splash as well as a fly-on-the-wall documentary series. If you haven't seen Splash last time round, make time for it this year. While the celebrity diving is not too inspiring, the diving shows put on by the professionals are something not to miss out on.

But for Tom Daley to let other stunts go by seems a wise decision. Unlike most I'm a Celebrity contestants, his career is not over and he won't join the old age pensioners next year. So who are the non-entities that are rumoured to become part of the trashy display?

A former Apprentice winner by name of Stella English is set for the jungle after claiming to be broke. Seemingly she messed up on her job with Lord Sugar. I couldn't tell you more as I usually don't usually follow second rate celebrities except if they are really amusing.

“Stella’s basically claiming The Apprentice ruined her life, which would make great viewing if she dished the dirt. It would also be a good way for ITV to have a little dig at Lord Sugar and rival channel BBC,” a source told the Daily Star Sunday. “Although nothing is finalised yet producers are confident Stella will sign on the dotted line. It’s a great opportunity to ease her money worries and repair her image.”

Other names linked to this year’s series include Paul Gascoigne (a broke footballer if I'm not mistaken), Michael Le Vell (a minor actor in a minor TV series), and an Emmerdale actress by name of Lucy Pargeter (I was told she was Chas Spencer, one of the names would probably be from the TV series, one her acting name?) Who knows or cares.

There are more names bandied about. One of the thousand or more former X Factor singers on the list is Rylan Clark whose career has stopped after never taking off. There is also one Lucy Mecklenburgh from The Only Way Is Essex (TOWIE), one of the most pointless TV productions if you ignore I'm a Celebrity.

Further reading
Splash Line-up Next Round
Tom Daley Calendar 2014
Diving World Championship 2013

Michael Phelps and Daley Thompson are in a Stable Gay Relationship

Michael Phelps and Daley Thompson moved to London on May 18th, 2011, coming from Edinburgh by way of Weymouth. A press release stated that it is hoped they will be able and willing to incubate eggs from unreliable heterosexual couples.

Michael Phelps in speedo

Michael Phelps and Daley Thompson, Michael and Daley to you and me, moved to London into a newly built bespoke complex specifically built for them and their relatives. Their relationship had started in Edinburgh where they had been living prior to their move. Now you will be able to visit them whenever you are in London to admire their cuts any day, even during feeding time. I am told that they are very sociable. The more conventional members of the group are Tom Daley, Jessica Ennis, and Usain Bolt to name just a few.

London Aquarium has opened its new Penguin Beach and welcomed a group of nine Gentoo Penguins bred and raised in Edinburgh Zoo. One of the couples that moved in is gay and they have been named after Michael Phelps and Daley Thompson in an online survey. The Penguins at the aquarium have been given armbands to distinguish the boys from the girls, but it seems those two are set to contravene conventions. Keepers hope they will be adopting ignored eggs from unstable heterosexual couples.

Gentoo Penguins come from the Antarctic, the beach on offer in London will not be inviting to you for sunbathing, and you might feel a bit cool. The environment for the new inhabitants was carefully designed to imitate their natural habitat with the help of the British Antarctic Survey. Their consecutive moves from Edinburgh to Weymouth and London had been done in a way as to not interfere with their breeding season. Edinburgh Zoo is host to a highly successful breeding scheme for the Gentoo Penguins, while Weymouth hosts another Sea Life Centre where the penguins underwent group building training and their London keepers learned their ropes on penguin husbandry.

Gentoo Penguins are smaller than the Emperor or King Penguins, but the fastest swimmers of all. They jump from the water into the air; the resulting air bubbles on their feathers work as a lubricant to allow them speeds of up to 36 kph (22 mph). They are also the fastest runners sometimes managing to outrun people on their favourite ground. And you thought they just had stubbly legs? In general, they are hyperactive and a lot of fun to watch.

The new area allows visitors to get in touch with the freezing and inhospitable (to us) environment where penguins live. A freezing ice wall, an icy touch pool, and a spoof Antarctic Research Station together with Antarctic Sea Anemones and Giant Spider Crabs form the backdrop for the acrobatic main act of the Gentoo Penguins. If you feel like getting to face to beak with Michael Phelps, go there!

Further reading
The Gay Tom Daley
Gigathlon Six Day Challenge Race
When Doping Was All Bulls Balls